We hear all the time that “communication is key.” This is especially true when we’re trying to connect with our partners. If you’re struggling to feel connected, know you’re not alone. Communication, although it’s a skill we learn early in life, is just plain hard. Often we feel pressured to make every communication significant.

There are ways to practice communication with your partner every day. It’s allowed to be simple, and it’s allowed to be basic. Sometimes we don’t have the capacity for in-depth emotional mining. Let’s look at some everyday ways you can connect with your partner.

4 Ways to Practice Better Communication with Your Partner

Studies find that meaningful and intimate interactions can happen when we focus on the basics. These tips might be especially helpful to you if talking about your emotions is still unfamiliar territory. Here are 4 ways you can practice daily communication with our partner:

1. Small talk is okay

Talking about the weather might be the farthest thing from your mind when you think about in-depth communication. But your day-to-day life is just as valid a way to build a bond with your partner as anything else. The tiny details and how you look at them can sometimes provide the most insight into who you are as a person.

Small things like making a shopping list together still give you time and space with one another. This is always an opportunity to grow closer. They can become small ways of showing love, like buying her favorite ice cream without her asking.

If you feel like asking for tiny details is rude or critical, remember you’re not looking for what they’re doing wrong. You’re asking them to let you get to know their interests better. That genuine interest can go a long way.

2. Be an active listener

It’s easy to glaze over or scroll through our phone while our partner talks about their day. Easy, but not courteous. Practicing active listening is another way to show a genuine interest in your partner.

When it’s your turn to talk, ask them questions directly related to what they’re talking about. Ask these questions without assuming you already know the answer.

You can communicate to your partner that you’re fully present with them without words. Use active listening skills like eye contact and nodding. Even simple, “Oh, yeah, I understand that.” are acceptable interruptions. Just make sure you’re focusing on actually hearing what they have to say.

3. Talk about yourself

Just like it’s important for you to listen to your partner, it’s important to feel heard. Many of us can overlook this as part of our relationship. It’s important not to always focus on yourself. But if you spend all of your time talking about your partner, you’re going to stop feeling seen.

Your partner may also start to feel shut out, even if that isn’t the intention. Remember, the little stuff matters, and so do you. So talk about yourself with your partner. They care about you. They want to know.

4. Be boring together

Small talk is a great way to get to know how you and your partner can be bored together. Spending time together doing unimportant things is a great way to bond. If you’re going to scroll through funny memes, show your partner the best ones. Do it while you’re siting next to each other on the couch.

Fold the laundry together. Instead of arguing over who should do the dishes, one of you washes while the other dries. Read a book together. You can try an audiobook or even take turns reading aloud. Mundane doesn’t mean bad. It’s vital to the health of your relationship to get comfortable just being with each other.

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