Infidelity, regardless of its form, can have a devastating effect on a relationship. In today's digital age, infidelity has taken on a new form through the use of online communication and social media platforms. Online infidelity has become increasingly common in recent years, and the impact it has on relationships can be just as severe as traditional infidelity.

It can lead to a breakdown in trust, create emotional distance, and cause sexual problems within a relationship. If an online affair happens within your relationship, you’ll both need to discuss boundaries and repair the emotional trauma.

What is online infidelity?

Online infidelity involves emotional or sexual relationships that take place online or through digital means. This can range from exchanging flirty messages with a stranger to engaging in sexual activities with someone through a webcam. Because this definition covers so many situations, it’s important to have explicit conversations with your partner about what you expect from their online behavior.

Erosion of trust

When one partner discovers that the other has engaged in online cheating, it can be difficult to trust them again. The sense of betrayal and hurt can be overwhelming, and the victim of the infidelity may feel that their partner has been living a double life.

Healthy relationships create a strong sense of security and emotional safety. Infidelity destroys that bond and completely changes the dynamic of the partnership. Trust is an essential component of any relationship, and when it is broken, it can be challenging to rebuild.

Widening emotional distance

When one partner is engaging in online infidelity, they are likely to be investing time and emotional energy into their online relationship. They may be sharing personal details, deep emotions, and prioritizing the other person over their primary partner.

This can lead to a lack of emotional availability in the offline relationship, as the cheating partner is more focused on their online life. This can create a sense of emotional distance between the partners, leading to a breakdown in communication and intimacy.

Painful emotions and lowered self-image

The wronged party, when the infidelity is discovered, will likely feel a whirlwind of emotions. Shame, embarrassment, guilt, anger, grief, depression, and anxiety are all normal reactions. They may develop a lowered self-esteem and feel increasingly isolated.

The unfaithful partner will also go through negative emotions such as guilt and frustration. When both people sit with these distressing feelings, they further widen the gap between them. They will struggle to communicate, be physically intimate, and reconnect.

How to recover from an online infidelity

Re-set boundaries

At its core, infidelity is crossing a relationship’s boundaries. The unfaithful partner must be willing to sacrifice some privacy, and the hurt partner should be clear about what they expect going forward. They should talk about the behaviors they find unacceptable and reinstate rules for the relationship.

Take accountability

Trust can only be rebuilt when the unfaithful partner fully owns up to their mistakes. Both partners should talk about what it would look like to show and accept true remorse. This is a good time for each to be completely honest with one another and listen to each other’s feelings.

Go to couples therapy

Infidelity is an emotional trauma, even if it just occurs online. Working through that kind of deep wound is best done with a therapist. In couples counseling sessions, you’ll learn to reconnect and communicate as you process the infidelity. Your therapist may also decide to see you separately as you work through these relationship issues.

To learn more about how therapy can help your relationship process an online infidelity, please reach out to learn more about marriage counseling.