The holiday season is all about giving, feasting, and bonding with friends and family. But we all know that the holidays are often much more stressful than we want them to be. Expectations, family dramas, and the end-of-year work pressures can all lead to heightened stress.

When you’re emotionally frazzled, you might snap at your partner or place blame on them. Simple annoyances can snowball into bigger arguments. When you look to your relationship as a safe, nurturing space instead of another thing that adds to your stress, you’ll both be strengthening your bond this holiday season.

Identify your stressors

At this time of year, you probably know what will cause you anxiety. Maybe it’s spending time with your in-laws or managing the credit card bills after buying gifts for the family.

Make a list (mentally or literally) of the things that give you the most stress. Talk about them with your partner. When you can articulate what’s hardest for you, both of you can make a plan for dealing with these emotions as they come up.

Plan for de-stressing

Talk to each other about how you deal with stress. Some couples might deal with anxiety in different ways. For example, one person might want to socialize to get their mind off deadlines while the other wants to retreat to the den to read a book when family time becomes too much.

Set up a support system with your partner so that you’re ready to deal with stressful situations. Set aside time for each of you to do your favorite things each week.

Make time for intimacy

During the holidays, it can be hard to find time for each other. When you’re so focused on other family, deadlines, and events, you can lose sight of your partner’s needs. By setting aside time to be alone, you both can come together and reset. Here, intimacy doesn’t necessarily just mean having sex. It can be cuddling, watching a movie together, going for a walk in the evening, or having a cup of coffee together in the morning.

In the spirit of the holidays, create a tradition just for the two of you. When you have that one unique thing you do together every year, you can look forward to that special intimate moment and enrich your relationship.

Communicate daily

In times of high stress, it’s crucial to check in with each other. In addition to making time for intimacy, you should make sure you’re having conversations about your emotions. These talks don’t need to be high-stakes. Just a simple “How are you doing? How are you handling things? Are you nervous/excited about what’s coming up later this week?” goes a long way to getting on board with one another.

This can be the time where you articulate to your partner what support you’ll need from them. If, say, you’re anxious about dinner with family you haven’t seen in a long time, you might ask your partner to be in tune with your emotions and be ready to remove you from a stressful situation.

Keep this energy beyond the holidays

When you intentionally address stressful times together, you’re strengthening your relationship against further emotional difficulties. Instead of abandoning these strategies once the holidays are over, keep having these conversations and making space for alone time together.

Even if you’re not having problems, seeing a couple’s counselor can help you better understand your communication styles and relationship dynamic. In your sessions, you can learn how best to support one another.

To find out more about how marriage counseling can help you strengthen and empower your relationship, please reach out to us.