Sometimes, we don’t actively participate in our relationships. We might live life on autopilot without looking at our communication patterns and identifying our emotions. When this happens, our relationships can suffer.

We might not always be there for our partners when they need us, which leads to conflict and disconnection. In reality, being a supportive and understanding partner takes effort that is emotionally fulfilling for the entire relationship.

What does emotional support do for a relationship?

Being supportive and understanding means encouraging your partner, actively listening when you’re in discussions, and comforting them during times of stress. This creates a bedrock of communication. You and your partner will feel confident in the relationship and trust one another more than ever.

You’ll both be willing to be emotionally vulnerable, ask for input when making big decisions, and achieve future goals together. You’ll also be prepared to weather the tough stuff, like big life changes and grief. Here are several strategies for becoming a more supportive and understanding partner.

Get good at actively listening

Active listening is a crucial part of good communication. When your partner speaks, give them your full attention. Put away distractions, keep eye contact, and don't interrupt. Reflect on what they're saying before responding. Don’t be afraid to ask clarifying questions to show genuine interest. By actively listening, you create a judgment-free space for your partner to express themselves.

Put yourself in their shoes

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of someone else. When they’re going through a difficult time, try to see the situation from their perspective. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they say, but it’s still important to validate their feelings. This will help them feel heard and supported.

Be patient

Patience is a virtue and practicing it in your relationship can make a significant difference. Understand that your partner may have bad days or may need time to process difficult emotions. If they’re grieving someone, lost their job, or are dealing with a difficult interpersonal relationship, give them space and be patient.

Develop a growth mindset

Relationships are constantly evolving. When you embrace a growth mindset, you view your relationship as something to be cultivated, appreciated, and strengthened. Be open to learning your partner’s experiences and supporting each other’s goals. Celebrate achievements together and navigate challenges as a team.

Show appreciation

The concept of love languages suggests that people have different ways of expressing and receiving love: through words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch. When you understand each other’s love languages, you’ll both do things that spark more intimacy, appreciation, and emotional connection. Make an effort to communicate love in the ways that resonate most with your partner.

Take care of yourself too

Being a supportive partner also means taking care of yourself. When you’re in a good place personally, you’re better equipped to support your partner. When you’re stressed, take time for yourself. Cultivate the hobbies you enjoy most. Encourage each other to engage in activities that bring happiness and take breaks when needed. By investing in your individual mental and emotional health, you contribute to the overall health of your relationship.

Consider seeing a therapist

If you’re struggling to bond with your partner because of your own internal issues, it’s time to talk to someone. It’s hard to be there for another person if you’re working through unprocessed trauma, dealing with other stressors, or have toxic family dynamics.

If you and your partner just aren’t clicking—you’re in constant conflict, you’re not intimate, or you’re feeling disconnected—consider couples therapy. You'll learn how to communicate, show appreciation, and become more intimate with each other.

To learn more about how couples therapy can help you become a more supportive partner, please reach out to us.