Appreciation is a major key to a successful long-term relationship. If you and your partner are no longer interested in making each other happy, your relationship is struggling. Partnerships need to foster generosity, acts of kindness, and reciprocating positive feedback. Who doesn’t want to make the person they care about feel special and loved?

Practicing simple acts of appreciation will strengthen the bond between you.

Are you feeling appreciated?

Are you and your partner expressing gratitude to one another? Or is the relationship starting to feel one-sided and unfulfilling? Here are some signs that you or your partner isn’t getting the appreciation they need in your relationship.

• You’re drifting apart emotionally and showing less affection

• You’re often quick to argue

• You’re not communicating and are quiet more than usual

• You’re telling other people you don’t feel appreciated

• You feel sad when you think about your relationship

If you find these things adding up, you or your partner likely need reassurance that they’re loved and that this partnership is worth it. Here are a few reasons appreciation is so crucial to a healthy relationship.

Balances effort

People struggle when they feel they’re the only one putting work into their relationships. Silently fuming about this does no good. Instead, model this behavior for your partner. By showing appreciation, you’re more likely to receive it in turn. This also shows the respect you have for your partner and for your relationship.

Shows your priorities

Appreciation is a major part of good communication. When you express gratitude, your partner learns your values, your love language, and what you need to make this relationship a fulfilling one. Rather than taking your partner for granted, you’re showing them that they’re still a top priority in your life.

Communicates desire and intimacy

Appreciation can look like spontaneous affection and showing sexual attraction to your partner. Small compliments and kisses after they do something sweet for you boost their confidence and tell them you still desire them.

Prevents drifting away

Emotional closeness is deeply important. It can be easy to deprioritize this after awhile. Ask yourself: is one of you avoidant or dismissive? This happens when people in a long-term relationship forget how to show each other they care. Making space for gratitude helps prevent this.

How you can show appreciation every day

Be specific about what your partner is doing that you love. For example, if you come home to a clean bathroom when you were dreading that chore, don’t just say “Thanks!” Instead, try saying “I love that you scrubbed the bathroom. Now I can take a relaxing bath and wind down after a long day. Thank you for doing that for me.”

Make time to compliment them every day. Saying small things like “You look lovely today” and “You’re such a great cook, that breakfast you made was delicious” go a long way to showing your partner that you value your partner for who they are.

That being said, appreciation is a mix of words and action. Not all gratitude needs to be said aloud. It can be shown by making space for your partner, actively listening when they voice their concerns, and helping without being asked.

Take stock in your relationship

If you’re looking to reignite the spark in your relationship, you should consider a couples' retreat or a couples' workshop. These dedicated spaces for working on your relationship will give you gratitude exercises and communication strategies you can practice together.

If you’re still struggling with building intimacy and showing appreciation, marriage counseling might be a good option. To find out more about how couples therapy can improve daily communication with your partner, please reach out.