If you have a partner with ADHD, you might be feeling disconnected. When one person has a neurodevelopmental disorder and the other doesn’t, it’s important to try to understand what’s going on inside their head.

When you know how ADHD can affect your partner’s emotions, headspace, and day-to-day functioning, you can communicate better and reduce misunderstandings. Here are several books and blogs by ADHD experts you can check out to get you started.

Driven to Distraction by Dr. Edward M. Hallowell and Dr. John J. Ratey

This classic book is a comprehensive guide to understanding ADHD in adults. Written by two experts who also have ADHD, it explains the neurological components of the ADHD and practical strategies for managing its symptoms.

The book delves into how ADHD affects relationships and offers specific advice on improving communication and using healthy coping mechanisms. They also emphasize the positives of ADHD, such as intuitiveness, enthusiasm, and creativity. This book will give valuable insights for both you and your partner.

The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov

Melissa Orlov’s book is a must-read for anyone in a relationship with someone who has ADHD. It explores the unique dynamics that ADHD can introduce into a marriage and offers practical tools to address the most common issues.

It also encourages a more positive perspective, rather than looking at ADHD as a wedge driven between couples. Orlov includes real-world vignettes of actual couples and how they overcame negative behavior patterns and became stronger afterward.

The goal of this book is to get both people active in their relationship and improving communication despite the setbacks ADHD can give.

Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? by Gina Pera

Gina Pera’s book is another excellent resource for partners of those with ADHD. It uses the metaphor of a roller coaster to help make sense of ADHD experiences, preconceived notions, and negative communication patterns with others.

She also gives concrete advice for practical solutions to the problems associated with ADHD. Pera incorporates real-life examples with explanations from doctors and researchers to back up her information.

ADDitude Magazine (www.additudemag.com)

ADDitude Magazine is a leading comprehensive resource about ADHD. Their website is full of articles, webinars, blogs, and expert advice. It’s also organized by categories such as advice for parents, understanding ADHD in adults, and ADHD in women.

They cover a variety of topics relevant to partners of people with ADHD, including communication strategies, relationship tips, and personal stories. This website is an excellent resource that stays up-to-date with the most current research and treatment options.

TotallyADD (www.totallyadd.com)

TotallyADD is a fun, easy-to-access website that offers a variety of resources for understanding ADHD. They include listicles, blogs, videos, and testing resources. Their posts cover everything from ADHD symptoms to relationship advice, often including a brand of humor that’s more approachable.

The blog also features personal stories and expert interviews, which gives a well-rounded perspective on living with and loving someone with ADHD.

Is ADHD affecting your communication?

If your partner has ADHD, you should seek out resources to help you understand them. If your communication issues have been going on for a long time, you may need the help of a therapist to get your relationship back on track.

In therapy, you can learn targeted strategies to fix your communication needs. By learning more about your partner with ADHD, you can avoid having preconceived notions about their behavior and motivations. Together, you can improve your relationship with a growth mindset.

To find out more about how marriage or couples therapy can improve communication between you and your partner with ADHD, please reach out to us.