Do You Worry That Your Relationship Is In Freefall?Are you and your partner feeling distant and disconnected?
Have frequent arguments caused you to grow apart?
Does it seem like you’re not on the same page anymore, making you wonder if you’re still meant to be together?
You may find that whenever a topic comes up where you don’t see eye to eye—whether it’s about the kids, money, or extended family—the conversation devolves into a nasty argument where you both come away feeling hurt. As you continue to inflict pain on one another, your relationship becomes increasingly precarious.
While one of you might want to get to the root of what’s wrong, the other might shut down and do whatever they can to avoid having the conversation, including giving the other the silent treatment. Sadly, this lack of communication gradually erodes the foundation of your bond.
When Connection Is Lost, Intimacy Fades
Intimacy tends to languish when other areas of your relationship are in peril. When one of you feels betrayed, neglected, or disrespected, sex is usually the first thing to go. Missing the closeness you once shared, you may be at your wit’s end about how to salvage your special connection.
If traditional therapy didn’t have an impact previously, you might be wondering what to do next. Because neither of you has months to devote to therapy, you’re looking for a way to improve your relationship sooner than later.
Fortunately, a couples therapy intensive, held over a weekend, offers a deep dive into the dynamics of your relationship. In two short days, you can learn how to fix what’s broken and fall in love with each other again.
Many Of Us Struggle To Keep Our Relationships On Solid Ground
Even though divorce rates peaked in the 1980s and have been in decline ever since, current statistics estimate approximately 42 percent of first-time marriages will end in divorce.¹ This statistic climbs to 60 percent for second marriages.² However, as fewer committed couples choose to marry, current divorce statistics no longer capture a complete picture of how common breakups are.
Relationships most commonly fail as a result of poor communication, betrayal, a breakdown in intimacy, or differing priorities. But other times a life changing-event tests an already shaky foundation, revealing our connection is too weak to withstand a crisis.
We May Have Unrealistic Expectations About Long Term Relationships
After years of monogamy, we might realize that how we feel about our partner isn’t what we envisioned when we were young. Through the books we read and the movies we watched, we expected to feel constant head-over-heels, giddy, hormone-fueled love, but now we’ve lost that loving feeling.
But the reality is the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. Our neurotransmitters will eventually return to baseline. Unfortunately, few of us had exposure to the tools that foster long-term relationships growing up. Instead, we give up on the relationship, concluding something is wrong when in fact we’ve merely entered a different phase.
If we live under the misapprehension that true love means our relationship should be perfect and effortless, we may put off seeking outside help, expecting things to course-correct on their own. Or perhaps we were raised to believe that we never air our dirty laundry with others or that we should know how to fix our own problems. Sadly, these beliefs keep us unhappy longer and imperil one of the most important relationships we have.
But the good news is, with the right tools and knowledge that intensive couples therapy offers, you can learn how to make your relationship work.
A Couples Therapy Intensive Gives You The Tools For Success
You don’t need to be struggling in your relationship to benefit from a two-day intensive—focused couples therapy can help you strengthen your bond and feel more connected to your partner. The uninterrupted time an intensive offers allows you to go further in couples therapy, helping you understand and accept one another while also teaching each of you how to keep your own wants and needs intact.
You will learn new ways to communicate by learning to ask the right questions. Once you improve how you talk to each other, you can gradually release long-held resentments and anger. Intensive marriage therapy isn’t a quick fix, but a way to foster lasting change.
What To Expect During Your Couples Therapy Intensive
Before meeting in person, each of you will complete in-depth questionnaires that will enable us to focus on your unique dynamic and circumstances right away. The assessment tools I use—which include the Prepare and Enrich Assessment and Gottman Checkup—will give me a clear and complete picture of your strengths and weaknesses as a couple.
Your intensive will take place over a Saturday and Sunday from 9:00 am-4:30 pm. At the end of our intensive, each of you will receive a binder that will include all the materials we covered so that you have the tools you need to continue to practice what you learned at home. We will also schedule a two-hour follow-up session within two weeks to ensure you’ve been able to keep your communication on track.
I Draw From An Array Of Research-Based Couples Therapy
Although it’s normal to relate to your partner the same way you witnessed others doing growing up, it’s not ideal if your communication style is not working for you. Research has shown what does and doesn’t work in relationships.³ Effective communication tools can be taught and practiced so that you get more of your own needs met and strengthen your relationship in the process.
Because I have extensive training in couples therapy, my approach to helping you improve your relationship will be eclectic. I pull from many different modalities depending on your specific needs, including the Gottman Method, Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), Relational Life Therapy, and the Developmental Model of couples therapy.
You will come away from your intensive with a deepened understanding of each other and a customized playbook of tools you can use when future challenges arise. Learning to understand and be understood by each other will eliminate triggers that lead to pain and disappointment. And moving away from blame will transform the way you think which, in turn, will shift how you relate to each other.
A couples therapy intensive can help you identify and build upon the unique strengths you each have and leverage your differences to improve the relationship. Each of you has the ability to make changes that will have long-lasting benefits and strengthen your bond.
But You May Wonder Whether Intensive Couples Therapy Is Right For You…
Aren’t marriage counseling weekends expensive?
Intensive couples therapy retreats are actually less costly than weekly therapy sessions, which often last months or more. Because you invest all your money upfront versus on a weekly basis, the fee may seem expensive. However, some couples consider working one-on-one with a therapist over a weekend an invaluable investment. And considering how your relationship will impact your health and happiness for years to come, an intensive can be the best investment you ever make.
How do we know if intensive couples therapy is right for us?
A two-day intensive is efficient marriage counseling. It’s a good fit for couples who prefer uninterrupted immersion rather than spending months working with a couples counselor. An intensive is also a good alternative if you’re questioning whether or not to stay in the relationship.
However, intensive couples counseling is not for everyone, including those who don’t have time to dedicate a weekend to therapy. Intensives are also not recommended for anyone in the midst of an affair, struggling with active addiction, or prone to fits of violence.
What if we don’t resolve our issues during our marriage therapy intensive?
During a couples therapy intensive, our goal will be for you to learn tangible skills and techniques that can be applied toward cultivating better communication. Learning these tried-and-true methods will help you and your partner navigate whatever issues present themselves, whether now or in the future. While it’s possible that during the intensive we may resolve an issue you’ve been having, by the end of the weekend, you will have all the tools you need to solve your problems without the need for additional therapy.
Your Relationship Is Worth Nurturing
You deserve to feel the love and support that a fulfilling relationship with your partner can provide. To schedule a free consultation to learn more about the intensive couples therapy I offer, please call me at 404-267-9173 or visit my contact page.
