Do You Want To Ensure Your Marriage Is Set Up For Success?
Are you in a committed relationship or planning on getting married and hoping to build a solid foundation with your future spouse?
Do you worry that the small red flags that may have already emerged with your communication could lead to more serious issues down the road?
Or maybe you’ve had other relationships fail in the past and you don’t want to repeat the same mistakes.
Embarking on marriage or a long-term commitment can bring up doubts and insecurities. Even though you’re excited by the prospect of settling down with your life partner, you may be nervous that things won’t work out.
If you have witnessed relationships around you end in divorce—or have previously experienced a bitter breakup yourself—you might be filled with apprehension. How can you make sure you’re doing everything to make this relationship happy, fulfilling, and long-lasting?
You May Have Already Experienced Some Conflict
Perhaps you’ve noticed cracks in the foundation forming that have you concerned. You might be arguing more often or experience times when you feel out of step with each other. One of you might actively avoid conflict rather than confront the more complicated emotions you’re feeling. If you’re already encountering issues, you might worry that your relationship will deteriorate further after you’re married.
Then again, you might be doing great and just want to prevent problems before they start. No matter where you find yourself in your relationship, a premarital counseling intensive will make sure you’re making the right decision and setting yourself up for success. Once you learn how to run a healthy relationship, you will both have the tools to handle future challenges together.
Building A Strong Relationship Takes A Proactive Approach
Although we always enter into committed relationships optimistically, the reality is that approximately one in four first-time marriages will end in divorce.¹ Sadly, if children are involved, divorce can have a negative effect on them. A recent UK study found that “children whose parents broke up between the ages of 7 and 14 experienced a 16 percent increase in emotional problems and an 8 percent rise in behavioral issues in the short-term.”²
As some wedding vows attest, marriage should not be entered into lightly. The success of a committed partnership can be jeopardized unless we first take the time to assess its strengths and learn techniques to keep it on a sure footing. Being proactive pays off. A Health Research Funding survey concluded that “couples who attended counseling before marriage had a 30 percent higher marital success rate than those who did not.”³
Our Communication Styles Are Passed Down From Generation to Generation
At the crux of any relationship lies communication. Whatever the issue may be—money, sex, fidelity, or the kids—if communication breaks down, the issue quickly becomes insurmountable. Conversely, if we learn how to manage our conflicts through effective communication, we’re empowered to successfully navigate any issue that may arise.
Unfortunately, most of us aren’t taught how to communicate effectively with our life partners. Instead, we inherit relational family traits from our parents that may not necessarily provide us with the best role models for a healthy relationship.
The good news is that when you attend a premarital counseling intensive, you can stack the deck in your favor for a successful relationship and break the cycle of poor communication. Perhaps one day you will pass what you learned onto your future children so they too will benefit in their relationships.
A Premarital Counseling Intensive Offers A Manual For A Successful Relationship
When it comes to relationships, sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know. We often think that avoiding arguments will keep our relationship stable, not realizing that sweeping issues under the carpet is like ignoring termites—your house might not collapse tomorrow but the foundation is beginning to falter. Addressing your differing communication styles sooner than later can have a lasting effect on the sustainability of your relationship.
A premarital counseling intensive focuses on the need to understand and accept each other without losing your individuality or identity. The communication strategies that you will learn and practice allow you to release past resentments and anger and work through challenges with mutual respect and a shared goal of compromise.
What To Expect During Your Premarital Counseling Intensive
Before the intensive gets underway, I will ask each of you to complete in-depth relationship assessments. These assessments—which include the Gottman Checkup and Prepare and Enrich Assessment— point out strengths as well as weaknesses. This enables us to hit the ground running with a clear picture of who each of you are and how you relate to each other.
For example, we will perform an exercise where we will determine how each of you defines important categories of a shared life together, including home, commitment, intimacy, money, and children. This exercise will illuminate your shared values as well as where your thoughts and feelings differ.
Each premarital counseling intensive retreat is held over a weekend—Saturday and Sunday from 9:00 am-4:30 pm. You will come away from your intensive with a personalized binder that includes everything we covered. This will be a valuable tool you can go back and reference whenever you experience future challenges. Within two weeks, we will schedule a two-hour follow-up session to circle back on how what you learned is working for you back home.
I Incorporate Evidence-Based Couples Therapy Principles
With sound research-based methods and tools incorporated into its curriculum, your premarital intensive allows you to explore the dynamics of your relationship and then apply the principles you learn. Drawing from such modalities as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, Imago Relationship Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, and John Gray's research, you will gain a deeper understanding of each other and come away from the retreat with a more strongly built foundation.
A premarital counseling intensive can have a powerful impact on a new relationship, moving you forward in a way that provides lasting change in a short amount of time. You will make progress that sticks and walk away from the intensive with tools to address future challenges. I invite you to find intimacy, friendship, compassion, and true happiness together.
But You May Wonder Whether Intensive Premarital Counseling Is Right For You…
Why is a premarital counseling retreat important?
Navigating the nuances of being in a long-term relationship with another person comes with a huge learning curve. We’re rarely taught the best way to communicate or express our desires. But rather than learning by trial and error, what if someone gave you a guidebook? Wouldn’t that be helpful?
Couples counseling before marriage can have a beneficial impact over your lifetime. Learning to be a good partner to the one you love helps you become a better version of yourself while also getting your needs met.
Since we’re not having problems, my partner doesn’t see the value in a premarital counseling weekend retreat.
Think of the adage “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Just like going to the doctor for a physical, working with a premarital therapist addresses issues proactively rather than putting them off until they’re more serious. Neither of you wants to bring unwanted emotional baggage into your relationship. Why wait 20 years down the road until you’re both unhappy before taking action? A premarital counseling intensive can ensure you enjoy your entire marriage together.
Will a short-term premarital counseling retreat give us time to go in-depth with our issues?
The benefit of spending two days working with a premarital counselor without interruption is that it allows you to do a deep dive into the issues you’re currently dealing with. However, the ultimate goal of intensive premarital counseling isn’t to solve every issue you walk in the door with. The goal is to equip you and your partner with tangible methods for conflict negotiation and effective communication so that you have the skills necessary to resolve any issues that arise in the future.
Get Your Relationship Off On The Right Foot
An intensive allows you the time and personalized experience to get farther than other types of therapy. To schedule a free consultation to learn more about my approach to intensive premarital counseling, please call me at 404-267-9173 or visit my contact page.
