Are You Struggling To Save Your Relationship After An Affair?
Has your partner cheated on you?
Do you feel like you’ll never be able to trust them again?
Maybe the affair threw your entire world upside down, making you question everything you thought you knew.
You may ask yourself: How did I miss the signs? What caused them to wander outside the relationship? Am I just not good enough?
When your partner cheats on you, it’s normal to feel angry, betrayed, and misunderstood. You may internalize the affair and blame yourself, as if you’re not attractive or lovable. Perhaps you tell yourself that you’ll never forgive your spouse—no matter what they do, there’s no going back from this. Or maybe you want to repair your relationship, but you’re afraid that it’s too late.
Dealing With Infidelity Makes It Hard To Trust Your Spouse—And Your Own Judgment
Affairs can make you question your whole relationship and wonder if you ever really knew your spouse. You may feel unable to trust your own feelings and assumptions. Maybe you ask yourself: If I’m wrong about the person who’s closer to me than anyone else in the world, what else am I wrong about?
On the other hand, if you’re the one who had an affair, you probably feel like you’ll never win your loved one’s trust back. You may find yourself going overboard to please them, cooking all their favorite dishes and buying nice things for them. But the battle probably feels like a lost cause. It’s as if your relationship will never recover.
As an infidelity therapist, I am here to tell you that your relationship can recover. It doesn’t matter how far gone it seems. With my support, I believe that I can help you get through to your partner, feel respected and cherished again, and fall back in love.
In Our Digital, Work-Obsessed World, Cheating Is Easier Than It’s Ever Been
Roughly 15-percent of women and 25-percent of men have had extramarital affairs¹. When you account for emotional and sexual affairs where intercourse isn’t included, the numbers are even higher. Cheating may be the stuff of TV dramas and rom coms, but there’s no denying how seriously it can damage a marriage or relationship.
In some ways, it’s easier to have an affair today than it’s ever been. Social media makes connections quick, simple and discrete—people can reconnect with old love interests at the drop of a hat. What’s more, many couples are simply so consumed by work and other outside-the-home commitments that it’s hard to spend time together. This makes it extra tempting to have affairs with co-workers or other people that they see on a regular basis.
Cheating Always Happens For A Reason
Affairs often indicate that there are deeper problems in a relationship than meet the eye. Cheating may seem “out of the blue,” but it happens for a reason. There are usually unaddressed emotional wounds—trust issues, unhealthy relationship models, or even an addiction—that cause two people to drift apart and pursue new love interests.
On your own, however, it’s hard to figure out how these emotional wounds connect to your problems today. This is where the value of therapy comes in. Affair counseling is a chance to unearth the deeper problems behind infidelity and rejuvenate your love life.
Affair Counseling Can Help You And Your Partner Rebuild Trust And Rekindle Passion
I believe that you and your partner know your relationship better than anyone. I am not here to tell you how to repair your relationship—instead, I want to help you uncover the answers that you already hold within you. To do so, first we have to identify the negative patterns and areas of emotional disconnection that led to the affair. This process of self-exploration will help you look at your relationship from the ground up, noticing alternate ways of communicating and expressing love to each other.
Whether you are married, engaged, or simply in a long-term relationship, my goal is to walk you through a proven step-by-step process for affair recovery. I will use multiple assessment tools to evaluate your vulnerabilities and your strengths. I want to equip you with the skill necessary for rebuilding trust and rekindling passion. This will help you secure a strong foundation for the relationship moving forward, ensuring that infidelity does not happen again.
Tailoring Your Treatment Plan
One of the major approaches I use in affair counseling is the Gottman Method. This approach looks at the most common emotions and behaviors that undermine a relationship. The basic idea is that negative qualities like contempt and criticism generally turn people away from each other more easily than positive qualities bring them together. By understanding relationship pitfalls, you and your loved one can increase intimacy, manage conflict, and create a life of shared meaning together.
Additionally, I often draw heavily from Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT). The goal of EFT is to help you communicate with “I” messages instead of “you” messages. For instance, instead of saying, “You don’t care about our relationship,” you will learn to say, “I often fear that you don’t care about our relationship.” In this way, you can share your feelings in a way that doesn’t anger your partner and cause conflict.
Once you have the tools to rebuild your relationship, it will be easier to renew your sense of love and connection. As long as you and your partner are committed to working together, I am confident that your marriage can survive infidelity and remain strong for years to come.
You May Have Some Concerns About Affair Counseling…
I’m worried that affair counseling will cost too much.
Your relationship is one of the most important aspects of your life. It impacts your health, happiness, career, longevity, and if you have children, their lives as well. Counseling is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship so that every area of your life is revitalized. Besides, paying for therapy is much cheaper than the hourly attorney fees that a divorce requires. It saves you from having to invest more money and energy into relationship problems in the future.
I’m not sure our relationship can be saved.
Healing after an affair is possible—otherwise I wouldn’t be offering my services. The key is to get to the root cause of your relationship difficulties. By looking at unhealed emotional wounds and mapping out your fighting cycles, you can begin to see your issues in a new light. Additionally, I want to help you and your partner explore what’s already working, allowing you to play to your strengths.
I don’t think we have time for therapy.
I offer evening and weekend hours and all my sessions are held online, ensuring that you don’t have to worry about traffic, bad weather, or babysitters. Moreover, counseling doesn’t have to be long-term—most of the couples I see complete therapy in 10-12 sessions. As long as you and your partner have the tools and resources you need to strengthen your relationship, the time it takes to heal is a secondary issue.
Let Me Help You Learn How To Deal With Infidelity
Right now, you may ask yourself how your relationship could ever recover from an affair. But as long as you and your partner want to save your relationship, I believe you can. To begin the healing process, you can contact me via my contact page or call me at 404-267-9173 for a free, 10-to-15-minute phone consultation.
