If you’re feeling a lack of confidence, insignificant, or just feel like your self-esteem could use a boost, you’re not alone. Many men struggle with confidence throughout their lives. It’s part of having a mindful existence and being self-aware. There are a few things you should watch for if you’re trying to build your confidence.
Negative self-talk can completely sabotage your efforts, so changing the way you talk to yourself is a big deal. Remember, self-esteem is all about how you view yourself. Confidence is about believing in your ability to make judgments. You can change the way you think about yourself. It just takes some time and patience.
4 Ways Men Can Improve Their Self-Esteem
Developing self-awareness is the first step to improving your self-esteem. The further you get into your mindfulness journey, the more self-aware you’ll become. The more self-aware you are, the better equipped you are to make changes in how you perceive yourself and the world around you.
1. Make Mistakes
In a world of social media comparisons, it’s easy to start believing in perfection. Perfection is a human construct, though. Absolutely nothing is perfect, including you. Believing that you’re trying to accomplish perfection is an immediate way to set yourself up for failure.
Set yourself up for success by agreeing to make mistakes and learn from them. Shake off the embarrassment and shame of making a mistake. Past mistakes? Shake those too. We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human, and as long as you can learn from them, you can move forward with confidence.
2. Assess Assets
Regardless of how down you are on yourself, there are good things about you. Maybe you can see them and they just don’t shine bright enough in your opinion. Maybe you hear from others all the time about how you’re really good at something. Use that objective knowledge to your benefit. Just as it’s important to acknowledge that you will make mistakes, it’s important to acknowledge that you’re good at some things.
It’s not your job to be great at everything. What you are good at, lean into it, and use that to help you build up your self-image. Beyond that, do what you’re good at. Even if it’s video games or playing cards. The more often you’re good at something, the more often your brain will tell you that you’re awesome.
3. Reprogram Self-Talk
How to talk to yourself is important. If you’re always saying things to your reflection like, “Look at that waistline,” or “Man, I look terrible,” your brain is going to believe that. Your brain is like a supercomputer. You’re the programmer. If you focus your attention on all the negativity around you, that’s all you’ll see.
The good news is, that also works in the opposite direction. You can reprogram your brain to focus on the positive. Maybe you’ve got great eyes and you can make people laugh. Program yourself to see that more often. If you make a mistake, watch how you talk to yourself.
4. Prioritize Self-Care
Don’t let a desire to be masculine deter you from self-care. Make sure you’re taking time to keep yourself clean. Take a shower, get a haircut, trim your beard. You’ll feel better about yourself, and you’ll look better too.
Self-care doesn’t stop with hygiene. Make sure your sleep routine lets you get a solid 7-8 hours of good quality sleep. Eat more vegetables than junk food and drink plenty of water. Prioritize your mental health. If you feel you’re struggling, reach out for help. A personal therapist can go a long way toward helping you on your journey to self-confidence.