They designed conversion therapy to “cure” or “fix” a person’s attraction to the same sex, their gender identity, or how they express their sexuality. There’s no evidence to support conversion therapy. In fact, there is mounting evidence that it’s extremely harmful. Mental health experts reject conversion therapy practices as discriminatory and dangerous.
Conversion therapy can look different depending on the setting and providers. Some administer this harmful “therapy” as psychotherapy or talk therapy. It’s often faith-based and targets emotions. In extreme cases, these practices can become violent or torturous.
If you’ve undergone this harmful therapy, there are ways you can recover from the trauma.
What to Do If Conversion Therapy Left You Traumatized
Conversion therapy causes internalized shame. The idea behind conversion therapy is to break down how you feel about yourself so they can rebuild it in someone else’s image. There are ways you can start recovering from conversion therapy trauma:
Challenge the narrative
The key to healing internalized shame is recognizing when it shows up. You might notice phrases you use against yourself. These are usually phrases used toward you during conversion therapy or phrases they taught you to tell yourself during conversion therapy. These beliefs are not an accurate representation of your reality. Reframe this narrative by:
Acknowledging the thought for what it is
Explore the origin of the narrative
Consider the evidence against the narrative
Practice seeing other perspectives
Practice self-kindness
Self-love isn’t something you can develop overnight. It takes time and patience, but you can nurture it daily. Explore positive things about yourself. Explore your personal values and how you can practice strengthening your confidence. Journaling can be immensely helpful for this.
Another suggestion is to look into art therapy. Channeling kindness into art is beneficial for your brain.
Mindfulness practices like meditation and yoga can also help you reflect on your inner light. They can help you increase your self-awareness. Self-awareness can help you target the triggers of your shame. From there, you can learn how to let shameful thoughts pass while mitigating emotional distress.
Find support
Going on with your life after conversion therapy can feel lonely. Know that you are not isolated in this experience. It’s an unfortunate truth is they have targeted many people with conversion therapy. The good news is that you can seek these people out and others to support you while you recover.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who accept you as you are. The support and compassion of friends and loved ones can help you rewrite deep-seated negative beliefs about yourself. Share how you’re feeling with these people. Getting these thoughts out in the open and out of your head can feel like a weight off your shoulders.
Talk to a professional
If you feel you’re experiencing mental illness related to your trauma, it’s important to seek professional help. Depression and anxiety are especially common illnesses that occur after conversion therapy. Professional therapists can help you navigate and diagnose these and other illnesses, such as:
Substance abuse
Social anxiety
Eating disorders
Disassociative disorders
Professional therapists who are truly trained in counseling can make a tremendous difference in your recovery. You can talk to them about how to develop healthy coping mechanisms. They can help you talk through your feelings and shame so that you can rearrange your narrative in a positive way.
The shame you feel has been imposed on you. Even if the person who gave you conversion therapy or enrolled you in this therapy had no ill intent, the damage is still very real. Reach out to a therapist or a psychiatrist so you can start reframing your thought patterns. You deserve happiness.